Taking a Chance and Making a Change

I'm scared of change.  

Don't get me wrong, I like new, but something about the word "change" just scares me.  

And now I'm facing my fear and making a change in my life.


For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a teacher.  From loving kids to being a complete Type A personality, education was the career path that I've wanted to follow.  About 12 years ago, I was bit by the curriculum bug.  I was asked to be on a Social Studies curriculum writing team while I was teaching in Maryland.  I realized that I wanted to impact education from a different way.  Then I became an educational consultant with SRA/McGraw-Hill and was able to teach and coach teachers using curriculum and best practices.  

I was in love!

Not only was I working with curriculum, I was teaching teachers.  I was impacting the learning of children from the top down.  This is what I wanted to do.  Unfortunately, there wasn't full-time work with this type of work, so I went back to the classroom.  

So now, 8 years later, and I was still in the classroom.  Until now.

I've recently left my teaching position.  

I left because that "curriculum bug" is still biting me.  I left because I felt that if I didn't leave now, I never would.  I left because I want to grow. 

Most people leave their jobs because they have something on the horizon.  Not me.  My husband gave me the "green light."  I've learned when you have the "green light," you take it.  I have one year to "find myself" and find something that I love.  I know it sounds crazy, but maybe crazy is what I need right now.  

This about sums it up!

Wish me luck!

Alexis

It Was Only Just a Dream...

I have been having a really hard time sleeping lately.  I feel like one of my kids...I've been having nightmares.  

I wish my nightmares were of werewolves, monsters, even "Freddie Kruger" would be welcomed!  But mine have been more real...vivid.  

I can recall each detail in my head.  Even when I close my eyes right now, I can see everything as it has just happened.  I can't erase the images from my mind.  They are so REAL. 

The first night, I dreamed that I was walking in a parking lot with my kids and "Little Ricky" started running.  When I called to him to stop, he only ran faster.  He ran so fast that he almost hit a car.  Then there was a big truck...you know the kind, a regular pick up truck with those giant wheels that make them really high.  I heard his engine start, but "Little Ricky" didn't.  He ran right into the wheel at the same time that the truck backed out.  He got pulled under the wheel and was crushed.  I woke up screaming and crying.  I had to rush into his room to make sure that he was there.  I was scared to go back to sleep.

The next night, I dreamed that I was at a local shopping area in Miami.  At this particular place, there is also a bus and metro station.  I was walking toward one of the bus stops at the same time a bus was pulling up to pick up passengers.  The bus must have been moving too fast and it hit the bus stop.  The driver flew out of the window and bounced onto the pavement.  Again, I woke up and was scared to close my eyes again.  

I of course needed to know that I'm not a witch and these dreams aren't premonitions.  I researched dream interpretations and found that death means that your relationship with that person is changing.  In the case of my nightmare about "Little Ricky," it could also mean that I feel that I am not able to protect him.  I have mentioned before that he is the type of kid to have to learn the hard way, but I don't want his lesson to be that cruel.

But what about the bus driver who was a total stranger?  


I'm scared to go to sleep at night.  Why can't I just dream about winning the lottery?


Alexis

You Mean I Didn't Win?

Photo courtesy of News New Mexico

The New York Powerball lottery was up to $640 million this week.  

I didn't win.

I had all these awesome dreams of what I would do with the money...

First and foremost....I would retire.  

I would buy a new house.
I would pay for my kids' education for life.
They would also have trust funds set up so they would never have to worry.

I'm not all selfish...
I would also pay off my parent's debts and make sure they had all that they need.

Then I would hire an amazing top notch lawyer and accountant who would help me to invest my money properly and be sure that sneaky people wouldn't take advantage of me.

But I didn't win.

I would also be charitable and donate money to cancer research and volunteer my time to worthy causes.

But I didn't win.

I'm sure that I wouldn't be as exhausted as I am all the time.
Because of course I would have regular massages, hire a personal chef, and possibly a live-in maid.

But I didn't win.

The odds of winning the jackpot were 176 million to one.  

And I didn't win. 

Did I mention that I didn't even play?

Oh well, maybe next time!



Alexis